HEY TRAUMA, THE DAY WE MET

– Victim of Bullying –

The day we met I was in denial. I was dreaming a different reality and hoping for change. 

I couldn’t believe the torture.  I didn’t believe it. I concealed it, hoping know one would ever discover you were at the core of my existence.  

The memories of you burn. The wettest water and strongest wind can’t extinguish the firey pit that lay inside me.  

I wake up every day and try to work towards a brighter future. 

The self-hatred lingers, the destruction continues. Yet I am learning to love myself. I know who I am and you are not apart of that person. You will not define me! 
 
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For the longest time, I wanted to BLAME you for all my "flaws". 

I really believed you were THE reason for all my failures.  

In actuality, it turned out that you helped wake me up. 

It wasn't easy, but you became a source of empowerment for me. 

That said, I used to believe you were a thief. Ransacked my well-being and tore the treasures from my deepest being.  

It's confusing to know you as a monster and a savior. 

That's just what you are -- monster and a savior.  

Or maybe I'm the savior, and I've tamed the monster? 

I don't know. The point is, I forgive you, and the things I create every day-- 

The things I create to contribute to the world PROVE my forgiveness to you. 

I don't NEED to prove anything, but I want to. Because I'm awake and alive.  

Anyways, deep down I do love you--unfortunately OR fortunately, that's how this winds up.  

 
Hopefully that I will accept you.